Tween' kle tween'kle little star

Since i discovered my new knack into writing, I have never been this excited about an article as this one. Perhaps because it's a project any mom and dad would hold dear. Nothing as exciting though tiring as parenting. It can be exhausting yet interesting task to undertake. A reason why I have been off the scene. Yes! I temporarily delegated "grinding" to focus on up close and candid "raising " A whole lot to learn about during that period..I say!
Well , starts off by introducing her . An amazing brilliant but clumsy tween in the making. I call her my hot mess. Young girl , little woman. Both adorable and destructive. Let's call her ado-structive . No apology . As I recently applied a work brake and embarked in a journey to full time parenting, I knew there were tit bits i had missed out on that I needed to catch up with concerning my girl's development chart and it felt like total fun devouring her as my favorite book. I have with me a collection of what I would call discoveries that have either connected me as her parent both emotionally and physically. She recently hit tweenhood. An adorable stage where these young humans begin to look like "big kids " but puberty still a couple of years away for most of them . Hence their label, tween. Typically between childhood and puberty.  Commences as early as 7 years  till 12 years substantially. Variable from child to child. And agreeable as it may seem no parents wants to be left back when it comes to unraveling their children's character and thoughts hence my "recent study". These milestones are grouped into 5 major areas.


Physical growth.

Three remarkable changes I noticed at this stage were her height that increased rapidly. Anyone can mistake me as her bigger sister if not her nanny as we're almost the same height!
Her weight has also been an outstanding change especially that she has an insatiable appetite. We no longer get fussy when it's time for her to eat. Am at ease that she will ask for food when she's hungry and when shes not you'll not force it down her throat as she'll have taken "more than enough ". I stopped worrying when I learnt that the body is build in such a way that it generally regulates appetite according to physical need. The metabolic needs of children depend on many things, including how active they are and their genetic profile. Hence the incredible weight gains however its important that we train them on healthy eating habits that will not be of risk to their growth.
Lastly on physical change is that I have been undoubtedly the most proficient dentist she will ever come across! after extracting four of her milk teeth in almost one season. Still counting. Generally because they gave way to new clean and sparkling set of teeth. I encourage her on healthy oral habits that will save unnecessary painful dental visits in future. I reminds her to brush her teeth first thing in the morning and before going to bed to prevent cavities and ofcourse regulate sugar intakes.



2. Cognitive thinking .

Last time I went for shopping with her she had this list , by her, of what we needed to buy according to the budget we had both set, and everytime we picked an item she knew how to deduct it from the our initial budget, lest we embarrass ourselves at the counter when the shopping gets haywire! You know when the budget and cash at hand collides. Nothing worse that that situation! Anyway thanks to her she can now count money and be able to differentiate big numbers when adding and subtracting which is added development at her stage. She knows how much a shopkeeper will deduct and how much change she will bring home and it gives me confidence that she has matured cognitively. Responsibility is highly displayed here. Can as well check time and keep time more than most of us ,many are times she's reminded me of how many minutes are left till we leave the house so we dont get late for her school bus. She has her favourite color that indicates she can identify that which is bright ,dull, beautiful, ugly or even awful. She has preference as well ! However that doesn't make her complete as she can only focus on one idea at a time which makes it hard to understand complex issues. Remember she's just a big kid not yet an adult. Dont expect to skip their birthdays or special days on compromise to something else. Boy they know what time of the year it is. Make sure to fulfill your promises when it comes to calendars. Not like before we would slip them off their little brains on purpose that they dint know what time and day it was .





3. Language

During this stage our tweens have a well developed speech and grammar atleast if not always. You might also notice a knack in writing and reading. Many are times while traveling with my girl did she read the bill boards aloud . At times I noticed a struggle in putting the letters together and I helped her complete the words. Never feel embarrassed when they are slow in pronunciation, they are getting their knack in order step at a time. Do you have writing books probably one you've used and forgotten it lying around your house untouched? I dont have any except one that i rescued by hiding inside my handbag for notes during meetings and seminars otherwise I'd have none! I apparently have a secretary in the house. She writes on what she can. sometimes short journals, sometimes apology letters to me for pardon over a certain mess, or random notes from her head perhaps. Since I noticed her liking in paperwork I never deprive her the chance as it would also act as a stepping stone to bettering her written presentation in school in terms of spelling and good handwriting. Writing is not always advanced as oral so give them a platform to practice more each day. However, if you notice a slowness in either of this ,there is nothing to feel sorry about each child different with liking of their own and their milestones emerge on different stages. Dont be harsh on them instead try to reprimand them in a soft language and support them whenever possible. Introduce them to games that will jungle their little minds into perfect word constructions in both writing and pronunciation. For instance word dormination app  on play Store.





4 .Emotional and social development.

One evening my daughter came home from school looking like the world had put its load on her bag. As if she was really carrying that much weight she threw her bag on the door mat, she followed and sat on the floor. It's a moment like this that a parent would be bothered, so much ran through my mind but she cut me short " I think I dont fit in that school .kids dont like me ". It did quite touch the humane in me and a hot sorrowful feeling overwhelmed me. What could make her land on such a cruel conclusion. She then took me through a series of events where rough boys accidentally (she dint put it that way though) hit her or pushed her on their way dashing to the bus or break and a few girls excluding her from their "squad " so to speak and it really made her feel different and unwanted. Now this is where as I forget what am doing to back up this emotional tween lest low self esteem steps in . I had to talk sence into her , firstly boys will always be boys, they are always rough and always on the go . Nothing's wrong with them completely. It's their nature. They will sometimes hit you with a football and feel unapologetic about it . I went ahead to make her understand that perhaps she could have been standing minding her business but again blocking the rough boys way hence being hit. She even ended up laughing with me ( a sigh of relief that I had conquered her sorrow) when i took her through my childhood journey where my 'kid' brother would bully me . I remember a neighbour exclaiming that all she heard in our house was me whining at my brother . He would step and break my hair clips, break my makeup kit, switch to his best channel in the middle of mine , hit me here and there but at the end of the day I would never reciprocate regardless of whether he apologized not . Sometimes he dint even notice he hurt me , because girls are naturally reserved , apologetic , sensitive to others feeling and systematic. Even in their walking. It's rare to meet a girl dashing her way out of a room and knocking everything and everyone down . She understood. Now to the girls bff group that saw her unfit for their "little gang group) . " I went down to her level of understanding where she compared herself to them . She was new in the school and according to her religion she covers her hair hence making her different. I switched her imagination that she should see herself as outstanding, regardless of people's opinion, what they think about her has got nothing to do with who she really is. As long she remembers to be on the right place with the right person at the right time, whatever anyone does or says against her will have zero effect because deep down she knows she is doing thinking and saying right. Instead of her wanting to be like others I instilled a thought contrary to that . Dont blend in instead stand out . I reminded her that she is wonderful and never to let anything come between her ultimate goal.. It almost felt like I was talking to my agemate and gladly it got to her system . She never felt down casted ever again . she promised to stay out of the rough boys way and focus on the friends that like  her rather that those that dont.
Later on in bed that night I had a lot to pick from that conversation. Tweens are very cautious when it comes to friends and their opinions. Peer pressure awareness is critically important at this stage . They have changing emotions, might seem rude and dramatic with angry outbursts, tone them down when they seem critical. They might be impatient as they demand immediate gratification. Instead teach them on delayed gratification.
They desire privacy, however dont give them too much freedom, obliviously check out what they are upto. Inspects their rooms, their writing pads, their tablets (with restricted child mode) incase of any suspicious activity.
Embrace their self confidence, they will express opinions, share their thoughts and have interest in news events . Like I noticed the other day that my girl would be really curious when we are concentrating on particular news , she would ask so many questions of why, where , which ... Like "did the police arrest them ?" "are they going to jail? " "Was the victim a lady?" One time I had to just change the topic. It was a lady that was sexually assaulted, the incident was really ugly and my girl wanted to know what they meant... in details. I couldn't!
Back on this wide sub topic, our tweens at this stage are attached to their parents and not ready to handle their absence. One of the key reasons I temporarily dropped career over parenting.
They develop an understanding of right from wrong, lying among other behaviors. You'll definitely get reports of "so so call me a bad name " and so on.

They also desire to be on good record by adhering to rules and also being fare during group plays to avoid conflicts.

They exhibit a range of prosocial skills such as kindness, generosity , support and lastly understanding of other's feelings.



Parting shot

As I mentioned earlier on the language segment, each child sprouts at their own pace . Some may be good in language but behind in sensory learning. Our mandate as parents is not to discourage them ,or haul at them , instead help them discover what activities bring out happiness in them . Could be swimming, football, running and so on. Lift their spirits as much as possible and remind them how important they are in the society. They are future leaders we are looking to . So dont forget to play a role as a good example. They is no assigned system on how you should raise your child, do it like they are a project you will never want to fail. Do it in the best way  you know how. As for me , I'll be more honored to savor this beautiful relationship till the end time.








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